How Less Prospecting Leads To Better Results

Large group of people posing

While working through my list, I connected with a good friend on social media.

He was having a health problem and he told me that he was desperate and would try anything.

I told him about one of my company’s products and the huge benefits I had gotten.

He wanted to know more.

I sent him links to the company product video and to the order page.

When he saw I was a distributor, he was LIVID!


He said, “The only reason I’m still talking to you is because we are friends and I know you’re a decent person”

He told me about a previous bad experience with a very un-professional "friend" from his past and he was still feeling the hurt.

So now he was DONE with the whole industry!

I was speechless! 

I was thinking, "So a minute ago, you were desperate and you'd try anything. Now, you're offended by the way help arrives?” 


I felt like I'd been punched in the gut!

I didn't do anything wrong!

 I genuinely cared about helping HIM!

 I didn't give a rip about the little commission and I never suggested he join my team.

 It didn't matter… the bottom line is…

 I tried to help my friend and I came close to losing the friendship!

 We still talk; we’re still friends…

 But I don't recommend any products to him.

 And I learned a big lesson about how long the pain from a bad experience lasts.

 Social media is a great way to stay in touch with people,

 but there are some big pitfalls when it is used for any kind of prospecting.

 It's doing a relationship business on a social platform…

 which is simple with the people who know us and like us.

Our good friends and our family, who we thought needed the products, weren't interested. Not even curious!

They were mostly turned off by the business model. 

Probably because of a bad experience with someone "big-telling and fast-selling", just like my friend above.

So, once our family and friends had politely backed away from us...

The only way to find more people, some who knew us and might listen, was through social media. We set out to learn how to do it without burning bridges.

Lots of folks had started doing the "show-up and throw up" online by then.

And it got the same results as it does in-person. Avoidance.

Before I tell you about the alternative we found to build a group of interested people, by establishing trust, let's review three of the mistaken methods used every day for online prospecting by innocent people who are just trying to "be coachable."

Method Mistake #1: 

Posting product information and opportunity links, including the company name, on a Facebook profile.

I know it's what many companies teach distributors to do, but it's not because it's good for the distributors. It's free advertising for the company. The distributor is disposable.

It works just long enough that distributors think it will keep working, as long as they keep posting. They don't realize how many friends (and prospects) are just tolerating it out of politeness.

Sad but true.

As soon as people have a name or a link, they're off to search Google and they only get back to the distributor if they really care about them.

We're drowning in information. We don't remember who shared it with us. Who can remember where they heard about every product they use?

Method Mistake #2: 

Fake-social, "Hey Girl!" messages and posts.

In a business where relationships are the foundation, we're told to treat every casual acquaintance we've ever had like they are our best friends.

Common scripts say things like, "I just found this great... and I immediately thought of you."

Sure! Say that to someone you haven't spoken to in 20 years, IF they even answer the phone. How does that work out?

How does it feel when you get one of those calls or messages? Kinda like, "Where did you come from all of a sudden?" 

This phony stuff isn't new; it has gone on for decades.

What's changed from the strictly face-to-face days is now it's really public. It goes on our "permanent record"!

Method Mistake #3: 

Joining Facebook interest groups just to post links and recruiting messages.

It's fine to join groups that you have a genuine interest in and build relationships with people there. That's what the groups are for.

Trying to recruit there, or posting product links, is not okay. It's disrespectful.

Unfortunately, today…

The Internet Never Forgets and It's Ruining It for Everyone Else!

I once heard that success in business is all about ‘time' and ‘place'. As a professional marketer, I would add ‘message' to the equation as well.

Network marketers today are being taught methods of recruiting like the ones above. Unfortunately, these methods usually deliver the wrong message, at the wrong time, at the wrong place.

Here’s the truth!

There is a VERY fine line between recruiting with social media and spamming people. I’m sorry to say that most network marketers have been turned into human spam bots by their upline and company leaders…

‘Disposable distributors' are given the job of spreading the word about their company’s products or opportunity at the expense of their own reputation. They're also risking having their social media accounts suspended!

If you don't believe it, go read Facebook's advertising policies. If they don't tolerate certain things in ads, it's because lots of people have told Facebook that they don't like those things. Do you think they have a different set of standards for personal posts?

Successful entrepreneurs and networkers alike eventually learn the true secret to success, and it becomes the foundation upon which their entire prospecting, recruiting, and business building strategy is founded.

That secret is:

“People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care” – Theodore Roosevelt

The three methods above are often taught to people learning to recruit with social media…people who haven’t yet figured out that building a business is not about tricking people or finding the right copy/paste FB messages to send to strangers.

It’s about actually caring about people, becoming a person of value, and being someone uniquely positioned to help someone with their problems.

That last one is critical: “Uniquely positioned to help someone with their problems.”

Any idiot can copy and paste a message into Facebook Messenger. It's duplicatable, but does it demonstrate true care and concern?

What sets you apart from the rest? 

The rest of the desperate reps hitting people’s inboxes with their new “ground floor” opportunities or cash programs?

Now, this doesn’t mean prospecting online doesn’t work. I know some very skilled recruiters who are excellent at online prospecting, but just like offline prospecting, they’ve devoted the time and effort to learn this very difficult skill and have mastered it. And if that’s the strategy you want to deploy, you need to do it right, or else!

But if you’re still a little fuzzy on whether you are a spammer or not, here’s a guide of sorts…

Top 5 Warning Signs That Your Social Media Prospecting Efforts are Actually SPAM

1) Your first private message to a stranger on social media includes a link to join your opportunity.

2) You get angry replies via private messaging and/or you have been reported as a spammer.

3) You post links to your opportunity or website in the comments section of other people’s social media posts

4) You just have to talk about your company or products, without anyone asking you to share.

Finally… this one is the most important one…

5) You engage in interactions online with a hidden agenda hoping to transition the topic to something that would get people interested in your opportunity without caring about knowing the other person.

This last one for me is a big one but could also be controversial.

After all, #5 is the very definition of prospecting (online or offline) that, even when done right,  can still feel awkward. It often ends up with people getting angry at you, because they can tell you don't care.

It's also really hard to multiply and reach many people per day. That is why I eventually decided to stop prospecting altogether.

But here’s the interesting thing that most of the people in the picture above, plus a whole lot more, would say…

"When I Stopped Prospecting People, My Business Started Growing!”

I can’t tell you how relieved and at peace we felt, when we were able to go out with our friends, visit our family, or be in a public place without having to think about prospecting anyone.

It felt incredible to act normal again after two years of being taught by our upline that “everyone was a prospect” and approaching every conversation with a hidden agenda! We were free!

That’s also when we started meeting lots of people who had sacrificed their family time for years and built big teams... that required continuous replacement of people who gave up and left. 

Or something else happened that forced them to start over from scratch.

At this point, you may be asking, “then how the hell did their business grow?”

“How can you grow a network marketing business without recruiting on social media and spamming your friends and family?”

Well before I answer that, I have to say that there are people who are very skilled prospectors and recruiters who completely disregard the issues I mentioned above.

They knowingly and unashamedly, approach every interaction with a stranger as a prospecting opportunity.

Getting yelled at or cursed-out by prospects is no big deal to them, as long as some people say ‘yes.’

That is not who we are and we decided that we didn’t want to build our business that way.

The problem with prospecting in general, as it’s normally taught, is that the mindset going in is all about what YOU want people to do. It's not about serving people, it's about manipulating people into doing what you want them to do.

In other words, it’s about YOU, not them. We didn’t like that, but we still tried to follow our leaders for a little while… until I found a better way.

The More Leveraged Alternative to 1-on-1 Prospecting, Which Won’t Make You Feel Like a Cheap Salesperson

Now, I'm not trying to be all high and mighty about all this prospecting stuff, because I’m not.

If it came down to 3-foot-rule prospecting tactics or my kids starving, I would do the prospecting, even if I hated it

But the reason we were able to quit prospecting, with the help of some extraordinary mentors, was that we discovered an online recruiting strategy, that…

Eventually enabled many in our community to recruit more people in 1 day than the most skilled recruiters can do in 1 month. Imagine being able to passively generate leads, customers, and new reps even when you're out having fun with friends and family.

(There's no need to prospect when they come to you!)

Rather than spending hours spamming or private messaging people on social media, we learned how to legitimately get Facebook and other networks to actually help me attract the people who are most interested in what we have to offer by using their own ads platform! (i.e. going legit!)

This strategy is called ‘attraction marketing’, which is an internet marketing strategy designed for networkers and people in direct sales!

It doesn't happen overnight; it takes time to build new skills and develop a following.

But if your business depends on you being on social media, sending private messages, or commenting on people’s posts all day, you are NOT doing internet marketing… despite what you may have been led to believe.

Online prospecting and internet marketing are NOT the same thing!

Internet marketing is a passive strategy, which works, even when you are not.

So if you want to learn how to PASSIVELY build a business by attracting the prospects you want online, then get access to our free 10-Day Online Recruiting Bootcamp available here. In it, our mentor, Ferny, reveals the strategy successfully used for the past 10+ years.

You’ll also get more details about his e-book that goes deep into the nuts n’ bolts of this recruiting & selling formula.

Now if traditional prospecting online or offline is your thing and you want to stick to that, by all means, go for it.

Just consider the reputation you're creating for yourself and for the downline you hope to build.

There are still many top trainers and earners in the industry that focus on cold market recruiting skills…

(A lot them secretly do ‘attraction marketing’ too!)

For us, there was simply a certain way we wanted to live our lives. The relationships and reputation we had built were too important to risk losing though inappropriate prospecting.

We would much rather build our business first and then have our friends and family beg us to tell them more about it.

That’s much better than begging our friends and family to join a business which isn’t making any money.

Which way would you prefer?


John and Connie Kuder

We are here to help entrepreneurs spend less time looking for people to talk to and more time talking to people who found them.